I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
