Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
