I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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