Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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