i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
