i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
