i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
