Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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