she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
