the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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