Jerry, you need to find god
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
