Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
