I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
