thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
