I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
