made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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