Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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