Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
