I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
