If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
