Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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