I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
