Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
