U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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