And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize