I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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