drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Randomize