Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
