I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize