dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize