benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
