Please, let me fuck your mom
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
