I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
