Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
There are leaves in my underwear?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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