I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
