Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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