I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
