i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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