So drunk, too bad you don't want this
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
