When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
