I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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