the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
