jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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