maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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