We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
