but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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