Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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