fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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