the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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