So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
