you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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