i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
