I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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