Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
