Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
