Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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