I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
