thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
