this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
