The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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