he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
