please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
