Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
