I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
