Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I will pee on everything he values.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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