I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
