I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
