I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
