new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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