what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
